"Novels ought to have hope" Anne Lamott

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“Stories make us more alive, more human, more courageous, more loving.”

Madeleine L'Engle 

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Twist of Innocence

Posted by Nikki Rosen on December 31, 2012 at 9:55 AM Comments comments (0)

In writing the story, A Twist of Innocence, I spoke to the real life heros who were there when the the little girl was kidnapped and hung in the shed. They told me the truth of what really happened....they confirmed who committed the heinous crimefour boys all under the age of 12. Three of them....brothers, were known bullies, troublemakers and had already been in trouble with the law. Even before this happened, parents warned their children to keep a distance from those boys.

I'm hoping to get the story done and out there in the early part of the new year. I love how it's shaping up. I already have some people interested in publishing it.


Posted by Nikki Rosen on December 12, 2012 at 9:05 AM Comments comments (0)


"Such a feeling's coming over me.....there's a wonder in everything I see. Not a cloud in the sky....got the sun in my eyes and I won't be surprised if it's a dream." Karen Carpenter


At the lowest point in my life...someone flipped on the radio. The song, On Top of the World was playing. I never heard it before...never even knew of Karen Carpenter. But her voice...her words sparked something in me. Those words slipped inside my heart...gave me hope....hope that things would and could change. Hope to hold on....to keep fighting....to not give in to the darkness. 

Karen's song gave me hope....yet, she herself,  fell victim to the dance of addiction....She died from complications of an eating disorder. I really wish she hadn't.....I wish she could have grasped onto the same hope that she had given me.

Hope. What makes one person hold on and another give up? I'm not sure but one thing I want to do more than anything.....is to give back...and shine hope. I remember being squeezed by hopelessness....choked by the belief that I had no right to exist.....feeling completely alone....wanting to give up....unable to see a viable way of climbing out of the pain. My life though has changed....it's gotten better....in ways I never could have imagined.

Now I want my words...my life....what I've overcome to instill hope and courage to someone else fighting alone....wondering if things will ever change.

Something I learned....courage doesn't always look brave and strong.....Sometimes it looks scared....wobbly....and I learned also that the darkness eventually  loses steam....it dies out.....It doesn't last forever. 

Sometimes I wonder now....if what I lived and overcame wasn't just about me; that maybe it's about showing hope to someone else lost in the darkness, helping them know they too can win their fight. If I could beat the odds, anybody can.

Honouring Truth

Posted by Nikki Rosen on December 8, 2012 at 8:10 AM Comments comments (0)

"I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it."

Maya Angelou


     When I first saw her, I was drawn to the softness in her face and to her smile. There was a warmth, a kindness, a gentleness about her. She had been admitted to the hospital after falling and breaking a hip. I knew she was from Poland. I asked if she had been through the war. 

     Putting her head down, she let the tears fall and began to tell me the horrors she had lived. As I listened....I struggled to stay present. I found myself wanting to close my eyes and go away. She talked quickly, wanting to get it all out. She knew dates, places, times, names. She wanted to be accurate. She wanted to say the truth. 

     I asked her how she managed to live all those years with what had happened to her.  She shook her head and cried unashamedly. "I don't know. I think God let me live to tell."

     I went home that night....feeling detached like I used to be....feeling separate from myself.... that 84 year old woman's words echoing in my mind...'I think God let me live to tell.'

     When I got home, my friend called. Two people her husband works with bought the book, In the Eye of Deception. Two other people ordered it online. And a bookstore in the city next to where I live asked me to bring some books to place on their shelves. 

     Writing this, I feel so many emotions inside. Some for that woman...that  survivor who knew at 84 God let her live to tell her story. And maybe because in some way that lady gave me a message today...a message to be strong...a message to tell the truth of what happened...to not be afraid....it wasn't my fault...and what happened doesn't define who I am today. 

    And maybe by telling my truth I can show there is a way out of darkness...away out of hopelessness. I think of friends who died...who took their own lives or died by accident because of the damage they had done to their bodies...and I think of the many times I tempted death, yet He let me live....Maybe He let me live also to tell. 

   I want to be strong and give that strength to others. I want to use what happened and give hope. And I want to show that the gentleness of His power is able to break through any darkness.


A Twist of Innocence

Posted by Nikki Rosen on October 20, 2012 at 10:35 AM Comments comments (0)

A Twist of Innocence

I'm writing a story taken from real life events...something that happened in the summer of 1949. A child taken from her back yard - beaten, stripped, raped and hung in a barn. The child lives and four boys, three of whom are brothers, are charged with the crime. 

I researched the story and learned about the people involved...the detective, the little girl, the four boys. I read the judge's perspective and the crown attorney's. I discovered that three of the four boys had cases dealt with and settled previously in Juvenile Court. I spoke at length with people who lived in the area at the time....they said the brothers were bullies....often picking on younger and weaker kids.....the police were always at their door.....but the two most hard hitting facts of the boy's guilt - the little girl told her mother 'some bad little boys' hurt her and two boys in the neighbourhood told police they had given the four boys the fishing line that the child was found hung with.

As a mom myself.....the crime appalled me and the little girl captured my heart.

My story weaves a mystery from those details and shows how children can be capable of violently hurting younger children in ways that's hard to understand. Children who commit violent acts against others often do so because they can. They get a thrill and feel empowered.

I've researched the story so much that I feel like I know each of the players intimately. I've already written 25,000 words. I'm excited about getting this story done and out there.

I feel as if I'm resurrecting these people. Archives....they're a great way to find stories to write about.

Reasons Why I Write

Posted by Nikki Rosen on Comments comments (0)

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